Back for round 2

Made it through my first quarter of student teaching. Thank God. However I am now in my 2nd and final quarter and am having daily panic attacks. I am ready to drop out of the program the anxiety is debilitating. I'm wondering what the fuck was I thinking when I decided to go through the program? I have spent the past 3 years working on this credential and at this point I wish I had just started working after I got my B.A. I feel like I've wasted so much time, money and energy. I'm 26, is that too young for a midlife crisis?

am i really living?

Quite a bit has changed in the past few years. I start student teaching in a few weeks and my anxiety is in overdrive. My fear of being watched/judged is tormenting my mind. I suppose I'll make it through it though as I do with all things. Extremely annoyed with my existence right now. Everyone keeps going on vacations and purposely excluding me, too the point where I'm wondering whats so wrong with me that no one wants to be around me? This must be how my bro felt before he committed suicide (or atleast a small bit of how he felt) Life is messed up-to say the least. Kinda wish everyone was as miserable as I am, selfish huh?

to start

I have a mush of things to say, but my brain hurts so I will post a post saying that I will post a real post later.....until that post
tata